of all time, it has to be now.

that's right, yours truly has fallen sick.

when did it start? friday, i guess. was working under the hot sun, some painting job for my grandfather at his shop. nothing of a big deal really - just some metal strips about 2m each.

apparently, the weather has been such that, if it's sunny - which is a good time to go out - i'm working / on some formal business.

if it's rainy - that's when i don't have something planned.

what a nice coincidence.

the erratic weather, plus perhaps some other reasons which i'm not sure of, has allowed the flu to catch up with me. and it just had to strike when it hurts most: the weekend.

yesterday was the day i was due to receive payment for my tuition assignment @ woodlands. of course, i did not wake up feeling perfect. there were the usual signs: aches, a runny nose, a lumpy throat, a slight throb in the head. but being payday, i wasn't too ready to pass it up and leave it to the next lesson.

when i realized it, i was already on the train to the student's place.

and when i realized it again, i was hitting the bed like a corpse, though shivering.

sun - ha was rather tempted to call off a FYP meeting but decided against it as i wanted to clear some issues as fast as possible, and i wasn't really that sick. true, there's air con where we're meeting, but it doesn't really matter.

until i stayed in there for almost 3 hours and had to take a serious defrosting session outside.

the trip home was horrendous. i actually planned to hit the sack really early tonight. i did - i went to bed at 10.

and woke up at 11.

what's happening?!

must have been my bioclock... no sleeping early!

so now up to listen to songs, chat online, blog...

and hopefully to tire myself enough to make me hit the bed and sleep till late morning. oh, plus my faithful cup, containing a blackcurrant-lemon teabag. i'm hoping the lemon can help keep the cold away, though i suspect it's just the hot drink by itself that is doing the magic.

oh well... not a very nice way to end 2007... but if you look at it, you can say it's my way of having all the bad things happen in 2007. 2008 is meant to be a year where only good things happen.

not just to me, to you too.

the sweat's coming. much much better... and alert.

hey, wasn't i supposed to tire myself? i don't want to be alert!

2 1/2 days to 2008: reviews and resolutions.

that's right... time to say bye to 2007.

was 2007 any better than 2006? indeed, it was. new faces, new friendships - the usual.

frankly i don't really remember much about things past, as i wrote in one of my previous blog entries. in all, it was a smooth-sailing year, with a fair share of challenges and rewards.

let's put aside the challenges and rewards from school. there were, but not important to me.

the most important thing is i've learnt to adopt an even more liberal outlook on life and gaining the ability to 'let go' many things that i may have held on to in the past. i'm definitely more relaxed (or slack, if you like) and more optimistic than usual. it's not that i'm never relaxed or optimistic... just more.

a critical event of 2007 was my professional attachment. well, it was done in partial fulfillment of my degree (hence academic) but it did not feel that much of a "school" except for the writing of the PA report. most importantly, it set a direction as to where i wanted to go.

i'm definitely staying in marketing, as opposed to wanting to go banks (as some of my friends knew).

another event was rather unexpected. in the first place, i didn't have any intention of joining this competition at all. i did hear some of friends interested in joining - perhaps even "persuaded" to join - but that's about it. as it was with many emails that were sent to my account, i conveniently deleted it.

but i was chatting online with my friend one night when she asked me to join the competition. i'm very surprised - not by her asking me, but the fact that she wanted to join. it somehow changed my perception (no offense) to a more positive one.

well, i'm lucky i did. thanks to this invite, we bagged 2nd runner up in the finals. the prize money and hamper were insignificant, but the experience was the main takeaway. it further strengthened my desire to stay in marketing. specifically, consumer / market research.

something to boost my resume.

as some of you already know, i give part-time tuition. the money's good, time is flexible, and i get to interact with the younger generation. i learn things from them i never could have learnt from my friends, and they provided some insights into things that i would never think of. one of the most memorable was this:

i was explaining a maths question to my student, and he asked me:

"that's how you would do, because you knew how to do it (i.e. had the experience). have you tried looking at it from my perspective?"

the question was asked in chinese, but for the sake of blogging i translated it. the translated version is also more complete.

yes, that's right - "from my perspective." how many times have we looked at things from our perspective, but not from others'? even though it's only a maths question, the issue is: the kid has no experience with such questions. how do we use the very basic principles to deal with the problem? how can we "stand in other people's shoes?" these are questions easy to ask, but not as easy to answer!!

sometimes, we do not need to think too much, as it would only complicate matters. what is most important is grasping the key idea to things, and delimiting the scope of your thought.

i mean, if i were to ask "why" to everything you said, it would never end. probably it will, if you decide to stomp off.

it's just like using wikipedia. on an article there are so many links. so i might start off with something like cars, and eventually move on to something not-so-linked, such as outer space. is it really required to think so much?

no, as i've learnt.

anyway, just some resolutions for 2008:

1) keep up being less "nua" (it works)
2) be more empathetic
3) be more fit

just some that i can think off-hand. well, happy new year!

some updates

2 blog entries in 1 day. and within 2hrs of each other.

the only main update is that today i went ktv with 2 of my sec sch frens who are also my uni frens, with them being in MAE.

ktv is somewhere i wun go if i'm not well prepared. financially, time-wise and song-wise. there's always the dilemma of thinking what to sing. u start off with a few familiar ones you can think off hand, then u start browsing thru the list... trying to find a familiar singer with a familiar song.

started off with some of hacken lee's songs. canto, all of them, 3 in total. gets the vocals going. if u r familiar with his songs they are of a wide range... low to mid to hi pitch. my voice falls in the low to mid range (the range for the crooner haha) so the songs i chose were pretty much of that range.

went off to my usual... japanese songs, some SHE songs (just to watch the MVs not really up to their pitch), many others...

ended with a malay song, kau ilham ku. very nice song... lyrics wise, it roughly means "you're my inspiration" and blah blah. intro-ed to me by a uni fren who's the musical type. always good recos.

i kinda learnt the song by listening to it often, in fact, even now. i'm not exactly familiar with bahasa, but i have some relatives who r indonesian-chinese. as i get to interact with them often, i can sorta catch they way they speak bahasa.

plus i worked in a company before with many malaysian colleagues... so it adds. also, at my grandparents' place, they have maids all along to help... for ease of communication they usually employ indonesian maids n having stayed there for the entire of sec 1 n my 2 years of NS (cos closer to camp than my hse at TB), my intonation hasnt really been too off (according to a fren).

so i've no problem with the song, which was wat i sang near the end of the session. my frens were pretty... uh hmm. hey, i juz like songs which r nice, and no language limits in nice music!!

it was singable cos it was of the low-mid range. i'm pretty much given up on hi range. i can do the "tremble" at the end of a line but that's abt wat i can do. due to lack of "qi" i cant sing high.

oh well.. heck it..

time to brush up on hacken. not easy to find a singer who u can do pretty well.

jiayou to myself!

some updates that are (not?) really necessary.

i'm close to broke from the festive partying and outings.

to-do: muz watch wallet closely.

my phone suffers from network lag.

to-do: my msg will either reach u late or not at all. inbound msgs i expect to be the same. calls not affected (neither r bills frm singtel).

my hotmail suffers the same fate as my phone, probably worse. emails i sent may nt reach u. in this case, pls lemme noe so tt i can send u the emails via my sch email acct.

to-do: wait for things to get well.

busy... busy... busy...

to-do: nothing. juz get as much done as possible.

merry xmas!

juz woke up from my nap.

went clubbing yest at zouk with 2 of my ex-colleagues and their frens. thoroughly enjoyable n fruitful... seems like i still got the clubber spirit in me.

fyi i havent been clubbing for qt a while alreadi. my reason is simple. i dun see the sense in paying 50+ to make myself shag for the whole of nxt dae. but it's xmas so... heckz.

always hv my pay to fall back on. i need a gd rest from all tat fyp BS!

reached home at 5 after supper at hooters. was pretty steamed n the beer didnt help keep mi awake. was qt quiet throughout... actualli i met my grp mates for fyp prior to the clubbing. frm 2plus till 6plus... home at 7plus. dinner n stuff... then went out. brain pretty much dead.

n seriously the countdown sucks. it was like there's this timer on their tv screens. the kind of timer u see (i think) in mrt stations, where they tell the time in HH:MM:SS. wtf? then juz suddenly they pop the merry xmas msg n its like, merry xmas?!

jeez! zouk u can do better la... wth.

anw reached hm at 5. slept... woke up 9 plus talked to my mom for a while, went back to dreamland again. then 12plus wake up wif a throbbing head and lousy appetite... grouchy stomach. lunch n then its down to painting time. my room tt is.

it looks realli refreshing now, with the very light apple green walls and all. but... damn shag. order kfc to eat oso no appetite. so after bathing n dinner, hit the bed again. now up.

my phone kinda went bonkers todae. cos my fren dan called n asked for some tel nos of honda showroom... then i replied him n he say nvr get?? in total msg 3 times i guess something wrong wif network. juz got a msg from JT n the reply was pretty quick so now shld be ok.

n my hotmail... send out oso no receive! wanted to ask my fren to help in my fyp then realized the email didnt reach at all. damn! but well, see wat can be done bah.

hmmmm. wanted to write sthg else, but dun realli feel like.

oh well.

merry xmas n a jolly good year for mi ahead!

PS fellow scorpios - i read for 2008: career will be well, wealth i forgot, r/s those who still single may have chance. actualli they always sae sthg nice for the forecast but its still up to u to seize the opportunities.

writer's block.

was fiddling ard wif blogger's settings, trying to find sthg to write.

when i didnt update my blog as often, my loyal audience-frens *gently* remind mi.

when i try to update my blog as often as i can, i can't find anything to write.

writer's block.

ideas for my blog usualli come from sparks, from fleeting thots, that cld be condensed into words.

looked ard some of my frens' blogs trying to get some inspiration... sorry guys to disappoint u.

i think most prob i'm tired.

physically, yes. have been helping ard the family biz with serious manual labor. as expected, there was no pay but i didnt mind. and i didnt help for any plan to get paid.

mentally, perhaps. losing brain juice for fyp.

spiritually, i dun think so. given that i'm a free thinker.

emotionally, hmmm? my r/s life has always been a clean slate. in my blog i often talk abt r/s as if i'm some expert... actualli i'm far from one. they r jus some observations.

was chatting online with sh yest. thx sh for the nice comments on my 5As... haha a book, u said. now, we need lotsa material if we wanna write abt r/s, tho its always been ard!

n oso thks for the encouragement. yeah i'm sure things will work out well for u n mi.

k... wat to write abt nxt?

2007... coming to an end. wat have i achieved this year?

i'm not in any mood to write abt achievements, and i dun count academic results as achievements. it's juz mi la.

had a fren who asked mi this Q: "wun u like, after a sem of v hard work n on getting the results, look back on the days when u slogged like hell?"

no.

wat's past is past. sure i worked hard, but when it's over, it's over.

this is sthg i live by. i'm not a "yesterday" or "last time" person.

that said, does it mean i do not think abt the past? i do, but i do not stay long in them.

hmm... i feel the writer's block effect wearing off.

i wonder if the "when it's over, it's over" principle which i live by is a little harsh? perhaps heartless? it somehow means, no second chances!

well, there's only the road ahead. n 2nd chances only mean tt ppl wun treasure wat they r having. so this axiom means reminds me constantly that chances will knock on only once. there's only today to chase after your dreams.

kinda getting philosophical... towards the cynical side...

another axiom is... forgive n forget. hate is a heavy burden to carry.

forgiving is ez... forget? but even as one forgives, there's no guarantee of a full pardon.

ok, better stop this endless spiral of self-questioning... n putting my mood down big time.

things will get better in 2008.

wun they?

The Noobie's 5As to Relationships

Relationships can be complex, be they the relationships between parent and child, siblings, friends and lovers.

A variety of methods exist to manage these relationships. However, there is no universally agreed set of methods that one ought to follow. As it is often with human relationships, a few principles guide and govern these them, and it is up to one to interpret and apply accordingly to the problems arising from conflicts within relationships.

The aim of this entry is not to cover any of these methods, though the discussion may delve into certain relationship management principles. Though so, I will not be highlighting them explicitly. I leave the interpretation to the reader.

We are all familiar with the series of books, The Complete Idiot's Guide to ______. A simple title that conveys the notion of providing the reader with an introduction and sometimes in-depth content without the assumption that the reader has any pre-existing knowledge on the issue or topic at hand. Hence, the "complete idiot's."

My version of this series is The Noobie's 5As to Relationships. This is likely to be a one-off entry unless I can find more things to write about relationships. The scope of the topic is limited to relationships of the amore sense.

The 5As are:

Acquaintance
Attention
Attraction
Affection
Amore

The definition for each A is as follows:

Acquaintance - everybody starts off as acquaintances that gradually move on the the "friends" stage. Acquaintances are pretty much recognizable, and it is likely that the reader has some acquaintances as well. Notable signs are hi-byes, messages that concern work and formal matters that others, and the person you don't really talk to (or have nothing much to talk about) on MSN.

Attention - Beyond the "friends" stage is the person who catches your attention. It may be due to appearance, behavior, thinking - whatever. Point is, one has so many friends and acquaintances, and the people who provide (to the reader) some form of stimulus would likely attract the reader's attention.

Attraction - The attention and stimuli transform into a "pull" force that is denoted by the attraction stage. One starts thinking how this form of attraction can be imposed on the target; that is, what the person should do to attract the target.

Affection - At this point, conversations, messages and calls become more frequent and with heightened intimacy. Pet names may be given at this point, and concerns move beyond work to levels that are on a very personal basis. For example, showing concern on one's daily life, keeping detailed tracks on it, et cetera.

Amore - This stage occurs when the level of affection from both parties have culminated to the point of explosion. It is as though if the person and the target is not termed a couple, termed lovers, that it becomes unbearable to either side. To relieve themselves of this stigma, they move towards the amore stage.

Frankly, there is no indication as to how each stage would last. However, there are methods available to progress from one stage to the next, just as there are methods to drop back a level (or worse, many levels). So far, my rather limited experience in this area does not tell me the exact approach to determining how each stage would last. Methods-wise, I do have but this is beyond the scope of our discussion.

That would perhaps serve as fodder for my next entry sometime later, probably 2008.

End of entry

PS The idea for this entry came from a discussion with my tuition kids this afternoon, and the thought about the 5As (originally 4, without "Attention") came to me just naturally. This is very much due to the fact that I crap a lot, and generate plenty of BS. But I thought these 5As do make some sense? I invite the reader to share their interpretations of relationships with me.

caught in between...

went to collect my brand's "hamper" todae... really "big" leh. haha i guess the big one is only for the top team, whereas mine was carry-able in a small bag.

total spoils of war: 6 bottles of chicken essence, 6 bottles of innershine berry juice (great drink yummy!) and 45 gingko tablets.

wa liao... just when i needed the energy and concentration boost the drinks weren't here... now tt exams r over these stuff r juz for entertainment's sake (drink / pop for fun).

anywayz...

when did i have the idea?

probably some random tot, which i'm full of. randomly tot of sthg, randomly wanna do sthg. now i'm caught between buying a PSP or PS3.

PSP - no idea y i wanted to buy. feeling rich (haha)? ok ok shld spend wisely. i can juz get the console, which my bro alr had, but not much motivation to get it. price-wise it shld be ok, haven checked (missed SITEX n supposed to look ard todae but didn't, was at funan).

PS3 - wanted to buy cos of Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots (MGS4). realli bowled me over. the last time i watched its trailer taken from E3 was about a year ago. recently, went to youtube to check again.

updated trailers, and a vid which showed the gameplay. damn! i wanted a PS3 to play MGS4!

smart marketing... using anchor games to entice players. if we still lived in the era of nintendo entertainment system (pic below. nolstagic isn't it) it'll happen anw (rem NES n super mario?)

well there u go... the old catridge system. my first console ever, used to play it when i was 4 and up to upper pri i guess. played super mario bros (ha who doesn't play SMB if he has a NES). plus, also had a game with some karate character gg ard some ancient chinese place kicking and punching enemies. very irritating game, cant seem to time my attacks well. but hey, i'm looking for it hi n low nw...

some probs wif NES. aft a while, the catridge / catridge reader wld hv some probs. i wld usualli "blow" into the catridge (reader was in system, too risky) and then literally jam the catridge into the system. then, aft a lot of praying, resets and power-off-ons, the game wld then work. tt wil be like 1/2 hr later.

used to have another game called "top gun" ripped from the movie of the same name. crappy game. i followed all instructions and cant seem to land on the cruiser, except for 1 time. then, it shows u a crappy pixelated screeen tt shows yr plane crashing into the sea, n says "game over." total waste of time, lost the mission and in WoW / DoTA lingo, PWNED!

reminds mi of the time i went to cmpb in J2 (2002, long time ago manz) for a pilot screening test. y i was chosen, no idea. eyesight was perfect, height a bit over (at 1.81m squeezing into the cockpit is no joke) and fitness wise, CMI. went for a simulation game, damn complex with many meters and gauges that i dun noe how to read even after instructions were given. note that these instructions were shown only once n u r expected to rem.

so if the wing is tilted to the left, the plane is actually turning rite... when its positioned like this, it means the plane is upside down (doesnt look like its turning rite or upside down to mi). crap.

then came the landing game. 1st time - crash onto runway.

2nd time - perfect landing, on the spot.

3rd time - ran out of fuel at about >50 m in the air. so dammit... so close n yet so far. plane no fuel, drops vertically to ground and explodes on runway (did not show on simulation, juz my way of visualizing).

my fren dan wil probably score well on this pilot screening test, given tt he's qt into planes. tho they be commercial ones, plane meters n gauges, i suppose, dun vary much.

well. better for mi la. better to stay on the ground n look at planes then to waste $1m of taxpayers' money. if there's anything, i'm sure to press eject faster than u can say eject (tt's supposing the eject even works. i dun noe how operational our planes r, altho they sure can fly but dunno if really combat-worthy).

anw, back to the topic.

PSP - buy, but dun realli like staring at such a small screen. plus sounds n graphics not as great even if compared to PS2.

PS3 - damn ex now. if i buy, probably for nothing but juz MGS4. worth it? anw MGS4 shld b out nxt yr Q2.

and surprise - konami (game maker of several famous series, eg MGS, winning 11, castlevania) - is listed on SGX! i rem seeing konami on SGX b4 but not sure if it realli is. so now, confirm. y do they list on SG anyway? beats mi.

now, physically tired. plus weather was super warm in the aftnoon n nw so cooling. always gd for my slp... plus todae i onli planned to take the stuff n go home (cos it was supposed to be big, n so juz bring home first then leave the sorting to later). but it wasnt much, so instead spent the aftnoon wif my grp mate ard the area... walked ard... eat... chatted... more walking ard...

well. another dae of the long hols juz passed. wld nt b working tis hols as qt bz. stick to my tuition wil do.

じゃな。

ps. till then. eh, buy or nt? PSP / PS3? some1 gimme a suggestion!!

updates

i think i just realized why i can't post youtube videos to my blog... apparently i did not use the google account that you supposedly can switch to i.e. "claim" is the term to use. i tried playing around with the system...

result? i'm not the exact techie. so after some attempts i think i would not bother to claim the account anymore. just too bad that i can't really share my fave videos with my audience.

let's start on this entry proper...

on the very obvious. exams are over. as of tomorrow 6pm, it'll be one week.

why do i remember the time? cos that's the time i left. well not just me. a lot of ppl left, so that means the paper was way easy for many. 5:45pm ppl were impatient and ready to leave, however was stopped by the invigilators and told to stay until 6pm (1hr after commencement) before they can go off.

well, if you count that as well, this is the 2nd paper this sem i left early. first one is really dunno what to crap about, plus got my core paper the day after at 9am. so left to prepare for it; being a case-based exam, it was far too long for my liking. anyway, it's over...

after exams.

meet-ups, feastings. my burgeoning belly, added with extra beer and alcohol.

met with my friend ruu on wed, she brought along her friend from japan. i think she knew this japanese friend whilst she was on her exchange at the beginning of this year. chit-chat over chicken rice at the chicken rice shop @ vivo, took some pictures (reminded me of what my jap1 tutor said in class... japanese like to take photos... i can vouch for that). after sending her off to the ticket booth for the rail to sentosa, went daiso to get a cup. my previous one (also from daiso and at 2 bucks) cracked due to the hot stuff that i kept pouring in.

hmmm... the old cup was in pretty bad shape because i drank a lot of milo... sometimes several cups a night while i burned the time away (supposedly) studying, msn-ing (most of the time)...

new cup was so far ok. acrylic. hope it doesn't crack so soon.

then it was off to giant @ vivo for some junk food. my student intro-ed me to this calbee chip variant that was quite hard to find. you should know of the calbee sour onion, and the calbee hot and spicy. but did you hear of the calbee seaweed before? really nice... should try if you see it on the shelf.

thur. area-cleaning. old notes to the notes box, dust in where it should be (vacuum cleaner). cleared my table and rearranged my desktop to make way for the laptop and some space to put my things. it shouldn't get too messy soon so now it's clean.

fri. fishing at pasir ris fish pond. nolstagic. very wet place, treacherous looking waters (it was night time when i went), smell of the sea (no fresh sea breeze but very canal-ish).

before fishing ate some arnold's chicken. very nice... they have a website and provides delivery. you can have a half spring or full. way better than KFC and super tender. current places at which they retail are Lion City plaza / hotel (not sure) near Paya Lebar MRT and Pasir Ris fish pond. slightly about 7 minutes walk from Pasir Ris MRT. don't worry, you don't smell the pond at where the restaurant is.

caught the smaller of the 2 that was caught that night. it started off with a nibble, a weak tug at my rod. usually that's the sign that small fish are biting your bait. small fish = max goldfish size. the bait may be underwater and the line long but it's very sensitive.

nibble moved on to multiple nibbles. ok i'm not using live prawn but it shouldn't taste bad (to a fish). decided to see if it's really a fish... tested it out and the line was moving. ok usually when a fish eats the bait it will swallow it and off it goes into the stomach. the fish now will likely turn 180 deg around and start pulling the line (that's why it moved). at this time you can "whack" the fish by drawing back your rod and this causes the bait to run through the stomach, the passageway and back to the fish's mouth. thing is, there's a hook, so the bait is unlikely to be pulled out of the fish and instead, the hook will hook on to the side of the fish's mouth.

after that you try to reel it in... of course, with a sharp hook at the side of your mouth and a force pulling you back no one (no fish) will stop and let you reel it in. depending on the fish type and its personality (haha) and whether it's fed (to give it energy to resist) it will put up a fight of varying power. mine was quite noob. damn.

anyway...

sat. helped around with my grandfather's business on some moving of goods and shelves. plus, tuition to my new group at woodlands. was too shag and had to continue the moving on sun, so went back for an early rest.

sun. continued on the moving. shag.

tml. no more moving, but gotta paint the rather old pieces of shelving.

tue. will be meeting my friend to collect our prize from brand's. i wonder how big the hamper is... well caprios enjoy the well-deserved hol break and take some time off to pamper yourselves with the money (although it was probably spent in nov - i.e. spending future money) but keep it and use it...

wed. tuition at woodlands. far.

thur. subject registration in sch and meeting for FYP. oh well do it now, when sem starts slack.

fri. no idea what to do yet. maybe dinner bah.

sat. relax time @ ubin. with 3 of my friends, cycling trip.

sun. too far to consider.

subsequent. not sure. more feasting, meet-ups, tuition, fyp. and with xmas coming... some shopping for clothes. yup. exercise. haha.