language can sometimes be really... hmm...

have not been updating my blog for almost a year or so (i think) but this is so funny it is irresistible not to share. each line below will (usually) be accompanied by some rather crude translation, because it's done by me.

性交

Sexual Intercourse

出自維基百科，自由嘅百科全書

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

跳去: 定向, 搵嘢

老漢推車
Old man pushing a cart. Slow and steady, I'm sure.

性交，又叫造/做愛（Make Love），屌， 扑嘢，即係用男人嘅陰莖隊入女人嘅屄入面磨吓磨吓，最後令到男方射精，女方高潮，兩個都可以得到講唔到嘅刺激同埋快感。（"Make Love" 原意係追求，但而家已經普遍解做性交）^{[未記出處或冇根據]}

^{Sexual intercourse, also called making love, is the use of the male's penis, inserted into the female's vagina and "rub-rub", leading to ejaculation on the male's side and orgasm for the female, with both parties experiencing an indescribable sense of thrill and excitement. "Making love" used to mean "courtship" but has now been commonly known as sexual intercourse.}

話造愛係動物界裏面人類獨有嘅性交過程，係因為佢除咗通過性器官嘅互相接觸，令到男方嘅精子同女方卵子相遇結合嚟繁殖後代之外，亦可以透過做愛嚟維繫男女間喺靈慾上嘅親密關係，比單純性交嘅層次更深入，更講求心靈接觸嘅層面，因此先至俾人叫造「愛」。不過呢兩個字已經俾人普遍應用，就算男女之間有性無愛，只求一刻快感，呢個身體接觸嘅過程都被通稱做「造愛」。^{[未記出處或冇根據]}

^{Speaking of sexual intercourse, it is a unique event occurring in homo sapiens within the animal kingdom. This is because, apart from the physical contact between sexual organs, which leads to the interaction between sperm and ovary (and hence the creation of the next generation), it is also seen as a method by which a couple may deploy for a higher purpose: the satisfying of spiritual desires. This is much more deeper than pure sex, as it involves a blend between the spiritual emotions between two people - that is why it is once called making love. Nowadays, however, these two words are commonly understood and used in situations where love might not exist and sex is purely for the seeking of excitement.}

因為人類造愛除咗要嚟傳宗接代之外重可以獲得快感，所以歷史一路落嚟，喺造愛嘅過程裏面都加入咗唔少心思，同埋發展出好多唔同嘅體位，希望可以畀雙方更多嘅刺激，能夠得到更多快感。至於做愛嘅體位可謂千奇百怪，香港人除咗稱佢為「玩花式」之外，重將呢啲體位配上繪形繪聲嘅名，好似：

Apart from the fact that making love results in the creation of the next generation, it also offers excitement. As such, throughout history, the entire process of sexual intercourse has included many devoted efforts and, at the same time, many different positions have been developed in order to provide to both parties more excitement and pleasure. As far as sexual positions are concerned, they are a myriad lot. Not only do Hong Kongers call these positions "wan hua shi" (flowery styles), they assign specific names to each position, such as the following:

• 打樁機：即係男方壓喺女方上面嘅抽插動作 (man on top, woman below)
  
• 老漢推車：即男跪喺後面，女向前趴嘅推動動作 (man behind, woman front)
  
• 觀音坐蓮花：即係女方坐喺男方上面，由女方做主導嘅動作 (woman sit on man and take "initiative")
  
• 半邊燒鵝髀：即係互相交叉腳抽插 (scissoring)
  
• ６９式：即係非性器官接觸，而係互相用口啜性器官，即係口交（呢個係象形字演化出嚟嘅名）(69 position, blowjob for woman and inserting for man)
  

有時，如果冇機會性交，可以自慰嚟解決性欲。

sometimes, if there is no opportunity for sexual intercourse and there is a need to satisfy one's desires, the alternative is to masturbate.

to be frank the translated version totally sucks... if you can read chinese characters, it will be good to read the passage "as is."

source: wikipedia

http://zh-yue.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E6%80%A7%E4%BA%A4