after so long...

finally, after so long, my time has arrived.

wat a feeling it was. it's like being released from bondage... now, now, it's not wat u think it is. the true bondage, if i'm ever released, will never be written, unless... heh heh.

i suppose it's a good relief cos i'm really tired of waiting for things to happen. and while i wait, it usually means i hv to touch it... and tt's not very encouraging when i already hv so many to touch.

hmmm... the feeling... very familiar. the place, the people... all so familiar. and to think after so many years, i still can't help it but to feel it again. then again, i dun realli like the feeling. i guess i'm suffering from cognitive dissonance... balance theory will help me.

today is finally my first paper for this sem, this year! i waited for super long. of cos that also means i hv lots of time to study, but then i'm already v tired of studying. sometimes i wonder if its just a pointless paper chase? and the future, the entire future, of a person dependant on a cert that has an expiry date like 3 - 5 years?

and how can anyone measure intelligence based on these results? surely, as a student, u've heard of tis person who's like a god - dean's list wor! gpa 4.9 wor! i mean, wat fuck? its no big deal... granted u noe how to mug and study, but is it really tt impt?

i dun suppose so, but then ppl in my sch like to compare wif each other. so surface! "oh, i not so good la... s/he better."

"no la... i nvr study... very packed..."

etc etc.

sounds familiar? guessed as much. if only we can stop being like this. but i guess this being singapore, if u get the A, they get the B, u are superior. in terms of wat? paper grades? good for you lor...

anyway, such issues wld c better debate elsewhere... i dun like to reiterate baseless things wif no value watsoever. i admit... i do study, sometimes i fall into fallacies like those above... i'm still trying hard to rid myself of this mentality.

today is my hp804 paper, my ahss elective called coping wif cultural transition. the notes... if u ever read... u wun puke becos its v untidy and full of writing, but becos there's no link from A to B watsoever... haha i usually do my own editing. its like u buy sthg from a shop - it works, but it seriously needs cleaning. applied to this case, i got notes that are reliable (of cos... for exam wat) but it needs a lot of polishing.

the paper's ok. its a good start i think. however, i really need to do well for this cos its to cover my other module called research methods... re-search... find again... look again... duhz.

i hate exams. however, sadly, they must come b4 any holiday. trade-off lo...