lewd old men in kopitiam... will i become one of them??

i woke up late today so i conveniently excused myself from a lecture.

already at 9 am in the morning i received a call from my project mate and so... no more snugging in bed. i was about to leave home actually, bathed, hair gel on, bag packed and cologne sprayed (arh! wat a damn waste) then i got the call. so then i decided to stay home and discuss online.

well nature calls pretty quick. i mean breakfast, which i havent been eating (some days a week i do eat, or else its brunch. usually if i have to go school then i breakfast). so i decided to stay away from the market since i'm very very sick of all the stuff like yong tau fu, fishball noodle, lor mee. kaoz eat until i wanna puke. imagine this combi, rotated on a daily basis?? fuck!!

i had no idea why i sat so near to the ah peks. ok they not very old, range from say mid fifties to seventies. fyi my area has a lot of old folks so its quite common to see them around and without any cais around! (another f-word) its not like clementi or wherever and this makes life a little sian cos i have to go school and see, and by the gods the population is taking a sharp dive into the drain, well past the red line. (for my female friends reading this: no offense taken. my frens are always gorgeous ppl.)

have no idea why they wanna sit ard early in the morn drinking 1) coffee / tea 2) canned drinks 3) beer?! ok basically u can say this is wat the kopitiam (kpt) sell but then its like they are sitting in the yellow box, chio kar (lift leg), talking abt absolutely nonsensical stuff and then watching the world go by. oh yah, their worlds go by (bye! pun intended) a little faster since they chain puff in the box. obviously tt's wat its for.

occasionally their notion of a babe will walk past. rem my area not pretty girls. got. but rare. very. ok so this "chick" walks past and then haha, the gaze follows - their "arc of fire" or "field of vision" locked on to the "target" and coordinates passed to the brain which is their "commander." then its a stepwise assessment of the objective at hand...

- Look at the face. sorry. "STARE."
- look at the boobs. i have no idea why aunties like to "expand their assets with unattractive complementary products"
- then, when she walks by, look at the bum. ohh yeahh.
- flash a wink to his "kakis"
- pass some "comments"
- resume life of wasting away until next babe comes along

after action review:

a typical "chick" of "mature" age typically dresses in a "flamboyant" manner characterized by "loud colors, tights and occassionally skimpy" in a bid to "restore" the "good old days" and to act "vixenicious" and fulfill the stereotype of "bulging bellies" and cellulite-filled limbs. results in visual discomfort and reinforcement of stereotypicalness of such a class.

DOCTOR's advice: not to be taken while already very sick. do not operate machinery (yes, yr little factory for guys rite down there). do not bother to finish prescribed amt, fear overdose (if u even can finish!!) if such thing occurs, look away or find a sink immediately,

- extracted from Encyclopedia Auntinnica and Kopitiam Journal of Visual Stimulations, 2006

wa lau how come i so familiar with all these arh? shit... anyway cos i was having porridge (hot, so-so only... i tot cos i noe the boss personally mayb can better... however when i ordered sure it was 2 bucks how come when it came was 3? shock tio wor) so i was observing them. wat a hilarious moment i never puke on my breakfast but no doubt it was a cool addition to otherwise a boring morning and a drag neighborhood.

i pray to the heavens, whoever is there... pls dun make me like one of them! at least give me a real chick. but hell, no... not in this lifetime.